It seems to me that we are still a long way from any true form balance between the genders. I would not at all be surprised if revolutionary thinkers, such as Mary Wollstonecraft, would shake their heads in disbelief at many elements of the modern woman especially the recent arrival of the “Cougar”.
I believe that I personally had a fairly fortunate childhood where I grew in a community surrounded by racial and religious diversity and was also tolerant of homosexuality. It was not until my teens that I became aware of discrimination based on such minor differences and also of gender difference. I feel lucky to have kept that sense of disbelief I first felt when I heard such narrow-minded bigotry. As I grew into an adult, that disbelief developed further on a foundation of evidence; indeed a human is a human – the basic needs and desires are ageless, genderless, and free from religion and race.
Trying to understand this gender difference, I became interested in the feminist movement as a teen and over time became more and more aware of a wide range of hypocrisies in the modern western world regarding women. The cougar has compelled me to write this piece as it is for me, the final straw.
Now, personally I’d rather not take the cliché approach of, “if a woman/man did it…” which has been done to death and thus now most often falls on deaf ears. Unfortunately those who used this approach are now making a mockery of the whole gender argument and one must retort in similar debate if only to illustrate the sheer stupidity that threatens the power of the modern woman.
As an example of one such hypocrisy; as a young man, I have been to many festivals and have failed to attend one where females refrained from making use of the male toilets. I can certainly sympathise with the long lines that they must endure at these events, however, I feel sure that if the reverse were to occur, the male would be snapped up by security before he could wash his hands. Now, if female toilets were even more grotesque – requiring them to stand in a line with their genitals exposed to all, in a communal act of urination – I could only imagine that the situation would be even more so offensive if a male was to enter the scene. Couple this with the revolting remarks these tipsy females say as they intrude with the disgusting responses from the more brutish thugs standing by the urinals and you have a situation that tickles at the gag reflex. Even in an age of Enlightenment and liberation of the individual such a scene would not occur – no, it is crude in the rawest sense of the word and does nothing productive to develop of more intelligent and tolerant world.
The same can be stated about “sexual liberation” (I use this term lightly, because I believe my definition is not what is demonstrated in the name of liberation at large). It is often argued that a male is celebrated by the number of women he sleeps with, while a woman is labelled a slut for being so “liberated”. I would argue that this is not truly liberated, but rather a reflection of a lack of self-respect and with so many STD’s floating around in the modern world, it makes the act even more idiotic. To share one’s body around like a piece of meat cannot, surely, been seen as believing it to be one’s temple.
To carry this on further, studies have shown that women are more attracted to a male who is surrounded by attractive women, or indeed women in general over a man alone (if required, I can look up the evidence, but at this point I won’t bother). It can be argued whether this is the result of nature or nurture or some other reason (it would make an interesting read, I’d imagine), however that is irrelevant to this piece. This only goes to further create that divide between a male’s and female’s sexuality. It could thus be argued that women complain about a situation that they largely create (even if it’s unconsciously). If they were more attracted to the solitary male or the less sexually inclined male (let’s face it, the male surrounding himself with attractive females is very likely to be very sexually motivated – strong feminists should be the first to argue that point) rather than the “bad-boys” and smooth talkers, it would logically lead to a shift away from big-noting such behaviour and towards greater monogamy.
Sure, sex is great; don’t get me wrong for a moment, but how many bodies must these people roll off from before they start to wonder if they can achieve a greater connection with another person? As another note; if you think men are sexual pigs today and it’s a woman’s inherent right to sleep around in a matching manner, please read A Vindication of the Rights of Women – Mary lived in the world of the true male chauvinist and quite frankly there’s nothing empowering of attractive in sinking into such self-indulgent and pigheaded promiscuity to mirror the ruling gender of yesteryear. Dancing with the devil doesn’t make you his equal; it only makes you as regrettable.
To finally venture back to the regrettable cougar that could be stalking any given young male at any given time, it shocks me that there is this emergence and encouragement of a new pop-culture that should be just as heavily mocked as the male equivalent chasing women half his age.
The current cougar is the daughter generation of the feminist movement in the 60’s. There is no doubt that the winds were changing then; a woman was no longer beneath her man; it was not man and (his) wife. She could create a career and spend her money as she saw fit. The bra represented her “prettying” up her breasts for men and was burnt in response. If she didn’t want to fall pregnant, she had the pill, she had the right to demand other forms of contraceptives – her body was her vessel – and yes she had the right to choose sex if she wanted it! Woman was no longer the mother to a man’s children nor was she his mistress, his toy for cheap thrills to be tossed aside when grew out of the first flush of youth – she was human! No doubt mum felt the energy and the choices building in the air and she gave this to her daughters. You are your own person! Don’t let a man hold you down. Don’t let someone tell you that you can’t do something because you are a woman. Stand proud and make your life your own!
Some of these children grew up to be cougars…
In the wake of this initial liberation there has been a level of muting, mostly via political correctness. That is to say, if one is to argue against some manifestation of this liberation, that person is backwards or a male chauvinist. The masses largely remain quiet and allow all forms of stupidity to develop – and even celebrate it – rather than argue its justification. It’s similar to the politically correct Christmas phenomena seen around Australia where companies will decorate in public for the season, yet refrain from anything biblical out of fear of offending someone. That’s simply madness and without conviction, your point is lost! Be something or don’t be something. A grey world is a boring place!
That said, I wish to make the point that I am one person who thinks this cougar development is disrespectful of women – the ideology of the cougar is little more than a sexual predator looking for nothing of substance, but rather a good hard root; it trivializes feminism – being a mature (and in many cases a successful and intelligent) woman down to the level of a sleazy middle-aged man; and above all else it sends a horrible message to younger generations of women trying to develop a generational and individual image – that the body is cheap, sex is easy and the anonymous lay is more rewarding than working on a life-long relationship.
Sure, one’s body is their own, to be done with as they see fit. However, doesn’t it deserve more than to be handed around to whoever wants a ride? Isn’t the other person taking part more than a biological dildo designed for your gratification? I know that neither party is being forced and it is obvious that both are quite happy to take part, but what are we doing other than encouraging the same form of objectification of others, yet under a new guise?
Liberation of any group should not mean that they in response act as poorly as their original suppressors. If we are truly developing as a species and as a western culture, shouldn’t we be learning from past ignorance and aspiring to become more aware and meaningful? Such behaviour does little but highlight we are not taking forward steps, merely dancing on the spot and it completely ridicules of the few enlighten people who have stood up above the mess to fought for a freer and more balanced society.